An Apple A Day

Written: 2009

A joint commission from the Traverse and Oran Mor for the Spring Play, Pie and a Pint season.

I expanded a story I had heard from my prostitute friend and had already briefly used in my Queen Echinacea.

A client came to see her one day and asked her to bite into an apple. It had to be a Cox’s Orange Pippin. Once she’d eaten it, he came very close to her mouth and asked her to burp. When she burped, he caught the smell of the apple on her breath and had an orgasm.
Then he paid her and left.

All I wanted to do was tell the story and explore both characters’ humanity.

I wanted it to be funny and moving and shocking and end with something transcendent.

It completely sold out at the Traverse. i was proud of it.

It calls for two actors: one male, the other preferably a transsexual woman (though it was played by a male).



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